Friday 1 April 2016

Brewdog Buy Homebrewers Club

Crafty brewers, Brewdog have signalled their intent for global crafty beer domination by buying a local home brewing club, If It Aint Cloudy Don't Drink It(IIACDDI) for a reported £5 and a packet of frazzles.
Martin Dickie, Brewdog....oops.
The IIACDDI were surprised to hear from Admiral Watt as they admitted to their club being a hobby because they were just 'not very good' and they would have thought that Brewdog would have been more interested in professional home brewers Kernel or Partizan both now famous on the Bermondsey beer crawl.
Admiral Watt has defended his company's actions and was quoted as saying 'we're so fucking craft right now' whilst flicking out gang signs and trying to perfect Blue Steel on Brewdog TV which was later found to be just his bathroom mirror. When asked to expand on the actual story of buying a home brewers club he merely boarded a dinghy and raced out into the North Sea shouting orders at the wind.
When asked if the buyout would affect the styles and traditions of the home brewing club an IIACDDI representative, Mikey McRoughStuff replied 'not at all, this partnership is in the best interests of crafty beer all over the world and we're delighted to be working alongside Brewdog'.

The other owner of Brewdog who wishes to remain anonymous replied to this saying 'The IIACDDI are basically us 10 years ago just without the fucking talent, someone has to teach these cunts to brew!' and he was last seen stripping naked and running off into the hills where he is reported to live in a hollowed out tree stump and using twigs as rollers for his beard.

Associated press were left gathered around drinking samples of what they hoped were brews from the IIACDDI but nervously tipped them away realising it was actually International Arms Race and left shortly afterwards.

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