Wednesday, 12 September 2012

(Nearly) All About The Beer

So, most of you will know I've been moved upstairs by Utobeer. This means that part of my job is finding new breweries and beers with which to play. The main reason I rarely blog any more.

This means dealing with people we've sometimes never met before. Now, they might be one of the nicest people you've ever met, which includes a lot of people in our industry, but it's all about the product for me(generally).

There are certain ways to go about picking a brewery to sell, it's not as random as you'd think, there are a lot of factors to consider.

Such as...

Price - it sounds funny coming from someone who's sold expensive beers at The Rake and Tap East but price is a big factor in the way we pick beers. Especially with Gideon doing his best to carry on the legacy of  recent politicians fucking the economy.

Availability - Sounds a bit obvious doesn't it but how often have I ordered beer that's supposedly a year round beer and found it unavailable? Too often. Usually the bullshit is, 'it's too in demand'. Usually the truth is 'You forgot you sold it so haven't brewed it recently'.

Taste - Yes, the beer has to be at least drinkable. You can sell any beer once to a customer but you'll never sell a rubbish beer twice. I'd prefer if you just sold me fucking amazing beer though, pretty please.

Customers - Who am I going to sell this beer to? Will it be wholesale? Retail? Both? Know your market, it makes the job of saying no to people quite easy.

Branding - Yes, I'm almost ashamed (not quite but almost) to admit that branding does sell beer. It shouldn't, should it? But it does. For instance I will tend to stay away from labels with photographs, sexist labeling, that would include beers/drinks targeted towards women, as most women I know are not interested in some fluffy branded alcopop. Also breweries that think having a 'giggle-inducing' name will sell the beer, no folks 'Mr Jones, Man-Titties' (for a poor example) will not be getting any orders if you were thinking of naming a beer that.

Blurb - if your label descriptions sound like Brewdog, you're trying too hard. They can get away with it (mostly), you can't (most likely).

Those are the basic rules I go by, I rarely taste fucking amazing beer anymore and the more I buy for wholesale the less beer I drink, I know that may sound outlandish considering this blogs writer but it is actually true.

Of course I could just be getting all responsible in my old age.

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Beer Walk - Sponsor Me!

Hello everyone. Just so you know, this is not a beer blog.

On September 8th (Yes, that's next Saturday) I'm doing a pub crawl, this is for charity before any of you pipe up with the 'what's new' comments.....

The charity involved is JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation), their aim is to find new ways of treating type 1 diabetes and its complications, to find ways of preventing type 1 and to find a cure for those people that already have the condition. They also help to educate those affected by the condition such as health care professionals and the general public.

Type 1 diabetes is not about lifestyle. It is caused by a problem with the immune system, you cannot prevent it by adopting a healthy diet, exercising regularly or living a healthy lifestyle. There is currently no known cure. JDRF are committed to funding research that will help find a cure.

My mates James and Rose's daughter, Lily was diagnosed with type 1 in 2009 which is why I am getting involved. When Rose put out the call for pubs to visit on the crawl, I instantly volunteered The Rake, also on the crawl are The MayflowerThe Gun, The Narrow and we'll end up at the Antic pub, Pepper St Ontiod on the Isle of Dogs. So 5 pubs, 10 Kilometres and a target of £500.00 which we'd love to beat. So if you have a spare few quid for a good cause, please donate to Team Lily's Page here.

Please give generously, it really is for a good cause.

Thank you for your time.


Bacon, Everyone Loves It.

***DISCLAIMER*** This post may look or sound like a hangover cure. It ain't, if anything it will make it worse.

right, I'm sorted, what are you lot having?

This all started with an innocent Bacon tweet : Not sure there's anything better than a toasted bacon and cheese sandwich for breakfast. Anywhere....ever.

Being twitter that started a worldwide debate on the best ways to serve the Godsend that is fried pig.

Phil Lowry thinks that egg and bacon (with black pudding and mushrooms) is best for bacon top trumps. He's wrong, and loses said bacon top trumps.

In Japan, Martyn Cornell proves that whilst he may be an expert beer historian, he's a bit of an amateur when it comes to bacon : scrap the cheese, add Daddies brown sauce and make sure the bread is wholemeal??? - wtf?

Natedawg reckons Phil's is ok but : leave the mushrooms. Black pudding is apparently necessary though.

Mitch Adams, now turning it into a hangover cure debate - Agrees with me though, wholemeal is all wrong has to be ketchup and clean sliced white bread.

One of my Afc Wimbledon buddies, Bubble is close : Sausage, Bacon and Eggs is a good place to start. Scrap the eggs and we have a winner.

Liberty Bear Steve : Eggy crumpets, crispy bacon and maple syrup....This ain't the States!

Cornell(again, jeez!)  best cure is apparently : Elderflower cordial diluted 5:1 with mineral water. And Coffee. And Bacon. - to be honest Martyn, I wouldn't put all that in a drink, or on a plate for that matter. Messy.

Simon Johnson thinks we're all amateurs without putting a splash on Hendersons relish on it. Bloody norverners.

Thomas Marshall says bacon on cheese in a bagel bap with a bit of hot source - The source of hot what I wonder....?

Right, since you lot turned it into a hangover cure debate, I'll just get onto the best cure for a hangover.....

More Beer. Suffice to say, Sunday will NOT be productive.